


handling happiness

by nejisalive



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Fluff, M/M, dont worry angst gets resolved, mentions of kankukiba and shikatema
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-23 20:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20219743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nejisalive/pseuds/nejisalive
Summary: Sometimes the best days have the worst endings for no clear reason but yourself. It’s bawling. It’s puffy eyes. It’s dry heaving. But eventually, it’s love.





	handling happiness

Lee and Gaara see each other again after the wedding of Naruto. Kakashi knew of Gaara’s feelings towards him and made the special mission of having Lee be his escort after the wedding. Having the opportunity to be alone, they found themselves in front of the Chunin Exam hall, seated underneath a tree. No one was around, they all were either by the reception area going to the nearest bars or already home from the festivities. Lee and Gaara share their light stories of what’s been happening and after comfortable silence, Lee sits in front of Gaara. 

“Now is a better time than never, Gaara.” Lee begins. Gaara looks at him, confused. Lee looks nice. He had his suit slightly unbuttoned and his hair was slightly tousled from his (sort of unnecessary) workout during the reception. The sunset behind him was unfairly making him even more beautiful than Gaara already found him. 

“Yes…?”

“I really like you, Gaara. Love, even! If it is alright with you, may I have the honor of being your boyfriend?” Lee said with his eyes glimmering and his voice softer than usual. It felt sincere.

“I love you too, Lee. It would be my honor to have you as my boyfriend.” Gaara smiled and felt his chest flutter. 

They agreed to be romantically involved in a long distance relationship. With his job as Kazekage and Lee’s current opportunities in Konoha, they knew it wouldn’t be easy but they want to make it happen by trying. 

  
  


During the time of peace, Gaara was able to divide the work between him, Kankuro, and Temari since the documents for Suna’s needs were not as confidential. It allowed all three of them to have freer schedules and have more time for themselves. Finding any reason to go to Konoha made the sand siblings sign the document as soon as possible. It was this unspoken agreement that they all acknowledged. 

Lee and Gaara have a date in Konoha and spend the night together after his arrival as the guest of honor in some Jonin’s wedding. Apparently this Jonin was under Gaara’s branch in the war and owed him love and life to him. It was kind, but honestly, Gaara was there for Lee. 

It was fun. Lee brought Gaara to the secret restaurant that he and Tenten found when roaming the night market. They spent every moment relishing in each others’ presence. Every chuckle, every crinkle of Lee’s eyes, every pout he subconsciously makes, every look Lee tries to subtly give, everything Lee does is recorded in his heart. It felt like he was home. Lee felt the same way with Gaara. Seeing the cute habits he has like blushing when he says something he thinks is too much, or when his eyes go wide when Lee talks about his missions made Lee feel as if everything was so natural. Gaara was meant for him and he was meant for Gaara. Two whole people that made another whole feeling. They spend the night in Lee’s apartment. Gaara had a reserved inn, but gave it to Kankuro to be alone (or at least alone with a guy and dog) for the stay. Lee’s room fit him. It was simple, a bit messy, but it was comfortable. The most comfortable part was the man sleeping beside him that night. Kissing each other tenderly, intimately, and wholly. 

The next morning, they spend breakfast in Lee’s apartment before going to the Hokage’s estate for the procedure of returning back to Suna. Lee escorts Gaara back to his estate in Suna. Kankuro and Temari weren’t due to be home until the next day, since they were the Suna representatives in place of Gaara, so he spent it alone with Lee for a few hours. Enough hours that Lee can get back to Konoha without having to worry about the rogues that could make his trip home troublesome. 

  
  


Lee and Gaara were laying beside each other on Gaara’s bed, feet dangling off the side. It was pleasantly silent, but Gaara could feel a gurgle in the pit of his stomach and pulsating warmth in his throat. 

_ ‘No. Not now. Please.’ _ Gaara thought. 

Before he could even savour every moment with Lee, he could feel his heart breaking. 

_ ‘It isn’t even over yet. Why couldn’t this wait? Just give me one more hour of happiness.’  _

Gaara turns to his side, avoiding Lee’s gaze. The tears stream and fall on his bed and he tries to keep himself quiet. ‘ _ Hurry up and finish crying’. _ He pinches the bridge of his nose and he feels his throat closing. He’s shuddering. His ears are ringing. He barely felt Lee’s hold on his shoulder and he was being held by his boyfriend. 

Lee was secure and sturdy. He was cradling Gaara close to his chest, fingers threading through his hair. He placed gentle kisses on his temple and breathed slowly. Gaara sobbed on his shoulder. The tears were staining Lee’s suit and Gaara’s body was still shaking. Lee could care less though. Gaara was slowly calming down, hoping that the next burst of sadness won’t hit him as sudden as it did just now. Lee pulls away slightly and puts a hand on Gaara’s cheek. Gaara looks up at him, his cheeks were getting warmer as his stomach got colder. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Lee said in a hushed tone. 

“I’m alright. I’m sorry.” Gaara rested against the palm on his cheek. 

“There is no need to be sorry. Any reason that may have caused this?” Lee asked.

“I don’t know…” 

“You don’t need to tell me if you’re uncomfortable, I underst-”

“I would tell you. I really would, if I knew why I cried.” Gaara looked up at Lee with pleading eyes. Lee smiles at him, kissing his forehead.

This was a side of Lee people never consider he has. He’s eccentric, loud, and enthusiastic, but he knows when to tone down. He knows when he can be his rawest self. Same with Gaara. He’s serious, quiet, and a leader, but he knows when to be just Gaara. 

“Don’t think too much, Gaara. It’s alright. Is there anything you want me to do?”

“Can we stay like this…”

“I would happily.” 

Gaara and Lee were in each others’ arms and they slowly dropped themselves back to lying on the bed. Gaara could feel the tears again and Lee stroked his back while petting his hair. Gaara was crying again against his chest, gripping Lee’s arms for safety. Lee would occasionally wipe the tears from Gaara’s cheeks and Gaara could feel the pinching feeling in his chest that wants to feel fondness but is translated into pain.

“I’m so sorry, Lee.” Gaara breathed out.

“There is nothing to apologize for, Gaara.” Lee whispered thoughtfully. 

“I want to know why I’m crying. I want to know why I’m sad. I don’t want to put this out on you. I don’t want you to pity me for not being able to stop myself.” Gaara was whimpering against Lee’s chest. 

“I know. I know. But it’s okay right now. I don’t pity you. I love you. I care about you.” Lee repeats this like a mantra. 

“I’m not sad.” Gaara frustratingly blurts.

“You aren’t.” 

“Then what’s happening to me?!” Gaara wailed and Lee continued to cradle him, shushing Gaara’s incessant thoughts. 

“I’m sorry I don’t know, but it’s okay. Just cry.” Gaara was feeling lightheaded, but he couldn’t help but grab Lee’s face and pull him in for a kiss. He thought he would be stronger, but it was more of a weak tug. Lee kissed him back and calmed him down. 

Gaara woke up feeling confused, lightheaded, and overall plain shitty. He saw his clothes and realized he fell asleep without changing. He also realized that Lee is snoring beside him, holding his hand. Gaara looks at his wall clock and the second hand begins to tick louder as he regains more consciousness.  _ It’s 11pm.  _ He sits up and notices the blur in his vision. He remembers last night. The crying. The wailing. The care Lee gave him. He uses his chakra to have his sand grab himself a glass of water from the kitchen. He drinks some water and sets it down on his bedside table. The figure beside him begins to rustle and Gaara turns to look at him. 

“Gaara, you woke up. It’s not yet morning.” Lee said sleepily smiling. 

“Sorry, I didn’t know I fell asleep. I’m sorry about what I did.” Gaara said guiltily. Lee shook his head. 

“What’s important is that you’re alright now.” Lee gave a thumbs up and tilted his head like a cat.  _ Are you alright now? _ Gaara put up his thumb and gave a small smile. Lee made their thumbs touch and held Gaara’s hand, pulling him back to bed. 

“I love you, Lee.” Gaara breathed against his neck.

“I love you, Gaara.” Lee replied. 

Gaara took a deep breath and looked up at Lee. “I think I know why I cried.” Lee looked at him with curious eyes. “I was really happy. I’m always happy with you. But, I don’t think I can… handle all that happiness. I’m not used to it. I guess my first response is to ruin it and feel like shit. To balance out the fact that I don’t deserve the happiness you bring me.” Gaara was looking away. He felt vulnerable. Lee looked at him confused and he began to stretch his arms. He pulled Gaara in for a big hug and started to make a light yelling sound while his mouth was closed. 

“Gaara, you deserve happiness! If I must make you get used to it, then it is my duty to keep you emotionally healthy. You make me happy, Gaara!” Lee was proclaiming as Gaara listened to him, quite dumbfounded at the response. He expected Lee to get mad at him, but Gaara knew that was thinking too lowly of him. 

“I’m sorry… I want to believe you, but it’s a reaction. I want to control it. I really do, but I can’t.” Gaara replied softly, relaxing into Lee’s hold.

“We’ll work on it together! We will.” 

“...Thank you, Lee.” Gaara smiled. 

“Hey, Gaara.” 

“Yes, Lee?”

“You should cry more. Sometimes, crying feels nice.” Lee said with a goofy grin. Looking so carefully and closely, Gaara could see the slight wetness at the corner of Lee’s eyes. 

Gaara loves the man before him. More than he could ever declare. More than tears can fall. More than happiness can make him feel. 

The next morning, Lee and Gaara find Shikamaru, Kiba, Temari, and Kankuro in the living room and kitchen. It was an unexpected reunion for the Konoha boys and the siblings have a connecting thought not to address it at the moment. Gaara grabs food for him and Lee as breakfast and he arranges that the three return to Konoha together. They all go to the Kazekage’s estate office together and settle the formalities. Once the papers were done, they escort their Konoha escorts to the village gate. 

“Thank you for everything, Lee.” Gaara hugs him and strokes his hair. 

“Thank you also, Gaara.” Lee kisses him and flashes a smile.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” 

A final kiss goodbye and another promise of ‘see you soon’, Lee was heading back to Konoha with Shikamaru and Kiba. 

Tears began to fall, but it wasn’t painful. It was nice.

**Author's Note:**

> i project my experiences with depression onto gaara. sorry gaara.


End file.
